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Meditate Every Day for the Best Relationships in the World

I’ve been meditating twice a day since September. Ten months of disciplining myself to sit with consciousness for 40 minutes a day. Approximately 3% of my day is spent practicing Vedic meditation.

I have cultivated many benefits including patience, focus, compassion, and mindfulness.

…but those will be saved for another blog.

Today, I’m going to reflect on my experience with noticing superficial relationships in my life.

Since I’ve become a regular meditator, I’m noticed how shallow some of my friendships, erm… “friendships”…really are. I’ve become aware of this with a large group of friends and with my co-workers.

With this group of friends, common interests grew us together. It’s more like a friendship web than a circle. I’ve known from day one that some people I naturally resonate with on a deeper level. And others, well, we just say “Hello” to each other and make some small talk. I thought that I was being polite by acknowledging everyone, whether that be around town, in class, or at dinner.

Lately, I’m realizing that I was being superficial. I’ve noticed that I said “Hi” to them because I want them to be my friend. A part of me was a little jealous that they get more attention and more verbal recognition. (Soooo elementary school!)

Now I notice that less fucks are given. There is still an initial urge being drawn to this person, to try to stand out to them, and to be acknowledged by them. When I watch this, it fades quickly. Now, there is freedom in not having to be everyone’s “friend.”


I observe how superficial people can be here in the USA. I don’t think they are trying to be a superficial person…maybe they are just trying to seek recognition like I was.

Regular meditation (compared to sporadic meditation) has allowed me to cultivate an insane amount of depth in my daily life. I feel emotions and feelings more. I am capable of more intimate friendships. I am more self-aware. My senses are hella sharp. I frequently feel “high” even though I have pretty much eliminated cannabis from my life. I have gotten so sensitive to my reality that I can really hold a state of “presence” a lot longer than I ever could. My mind is more focused on the conservation on hand without drifting into daydreams and judgments.

Sometimes I’m feeling a little alone. Not because I don’t have people around, but because I am left feeling unfulfilled with an interaction, especially someone who I thought I was close with.

I used to think that laughing with someone or sharing smiles were signs of a true friendship or a real friendship, not necessarily someone who I am best friends with.

Now, I witness that people are willing to fake that laugh and force that smile to put on a facade. To make themselves more likable. People are fine with creating and cultivating shallow interactions with a friend or a coworker if it means that there is “harmony” between them. They may even talk bad about that person when they leave the room.

But guess what…

There is no depth to that “friendship.” No foundation. No sustenance.

I can’t text you for help if I’m considering ending my life. I can’t message you for advice on what I should do during a huge transition in my life.

Why do we fake being rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns with each other when there is SO much more we could explore together?

Life has so much to unfold for us when we have the dedication to show up and be real. And being real isn’t synonymous with being cool, popular, or liked.

Being real is being able to express from a place of purity. No expectations. No delusions. No drama.

Part of this purity comes from getting to the source of who you are. Who are you without the racing thoughts? The key to getting to the source of who you are is always in this moment.

Guess what! Being a daily meditator makes you metaphorically buff as hell when it comes to being present.

When you are able to experience this moment even more, a whole new world opens up. You will be able to pick up on more subtleties and hear more intuition. You will marvel are the closeness that you can feel with another person, Earth and yourself.

From this space, life literally begins to feel like a trip.

It all begins with you.














2 thoughts on “Meditate Every Day for the Best Relationships in the World”

  1. I usually overshare relative to the average person, but there are many things I hold back because I think they’d be disturbing or off-putting to people and then they wouldn’t want to be my friend. I have found that the more informally someone speaks and the more they share with you, the more intimate and close they feel to you (this grows especially more true as a person’s income/wealth increases). It was really frustrating to me that when I started dating I would get ghosted or rejected for talking too much about whatever. “Oh yeah, I’ve taken Percocet! The waitress here gave it to me for a headache! Ha! That’s so amusing. Drugs are silly. Oh, you’re going to the bathroom? Okay!”
    There’s all kinds of unstimulating underwhelming small talk that happens in the name of preserving social order at the cost of real, valuable human connection. I read about a study the other day that showed the number of close friends people have is getting smaller, and loneliness is an increasingly regular complaint for those selling treatment for anxiety and depression. But answering “How are you?” In honest terms horrifies some people as it is a social faux pas. It’s ironic that in our days of hyperfast communication and social media we are less connected and fulfilled by our social interactions (probably because they largely take place not in real life).

    I really like that you’re such an open and real person.


    1. I can relate. Sometimes I figure out a “social expectation” that I am abiding by and seek to dismantle that unconscious habit. I get high on the change (Dopamine is one hell of a drug, have you tried it? My dealer always finds ways to sneak it into me….), but then I discover that there is another layer somewhere deeper. It’s a constant cycle.

      It seems like “How are you?” is more like a greeting synonymous with “hi” these days. I try to answer honestly but succinctly in the 4 seconds of allowed space people give for that fake-question-greeting. Also times, I don’t wanna fucking talk to you (whoever it is) and play the very card that I am criticizing *eye roll*


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