I have a couple close friends going through major transitions now. They don’t know what their lives look like in the next few months. New jobs? New cities? New relationships? I’ve hugged them as they cried on my shoulder and expressed all their worries and struggles.

Sometimes, “I’m here for you” or “Let me know how I can help” is the best I can share with a friend when I don’t know what else to say.

But what does that mean to reach out and ACCEPT that offered help when shit hits the fan?

(Side note: “shit hitting the fan” had a recent physical manifestation in my life when my cat got a massive dingleberry and created streaks all over my bedroom carpet trying to get it off. Ewwie)

I’m at a good place now. I am healthy, I have cool jobs with increasing opportunities in the near future, and I’m in a kick ass loving relationship.

So, right now at least, it’s easy for me to clearly see what has helped me in the past work through hard times. This blog is a reminder to my future struggling self, and to my cherished friends.

Here is my personal approach to flowing with life again.

Meditate

Just for a few minutes, let thoughts and worries explode.

They will anyway, won’t they? Haha! Thoughts are like the lava that comes out of Earth, or the nasty, pus-y, whatever that comes out of a pimple.

And you know what? Wearing makeup or putting a slab of concrete over that inevitability will make it worse.

Whatever needs to come out, WILL come out. Almost always in a more messy way.

Approach meditation as more of a courageous, patient process and not some crazy metaphysical unachievable miracle.

Watch the thoughts. And the next one. And the next one…

Witness the emotions that surge up within you.

You will probably get swept up in whatever is there… But, again, come back to witness consciousness…the state of the mind where YOU are able to watch and hear and maybe even see that annoying purge happening.

This, my friends, is transcendence.

Observe where it takes you 😉

Reflect

Now that you have a bit more clarity on how you are feeling, you can logically reflect on what’s going on in your life.

Start by:

• Noticing how you felt or reacted to a thought
• Do problems still seem daunting? Do some problems seem to lose their troubling significance?
• Are next steps more clear?

Seek Help

Reach out to those people who have already told you they would help. Your partner, your teacher, your sibling, your mom, your son, etc.

I often talk to a friend, sometimes I vent to my brother, other times I reach out to my meditation teacher or my Reiki teacher.

Someone else is being compassionate and offering space to you. Use it while it’s there!

Integrate and Evolve

While in a government office building today, there was a sign that said:

Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

I had an Argumentation and Debate teacher who used to tell us that we could never “lose” a debate because we would just end up learning more about ourselves and our beliefs or communication styles in the process.

There is obviously a similar theme in these two quotes…

So, you’ve been frustrated or pissed or confused or upset.

And maybe you then got some really good insights about yourself or your situation, either from contemplating by yourself or by seeking help with someone else.

What good would any of this chaos have been up until now if you can’t learn some lessons out of it? Crappy!

Integrating what we learned from school, a conversation, a yoga class, a Ted Talk, or anything really is what begins to turn that generic knowledge into personal wisdom. We are more connected to the lesson.

Hopefully, by now you realize that we don’t have to keep on wallowing or stay stagnant in your life. There are definitely ebbs and flows, but each of these tendencies allows us to evolve over time.

Life always has shitstains and buttheads and other frustrating things…

…but there are also infinite opportunities for deep personal growth when we work with life.