Category Archives: Thoughts

Dislocated

Frozen…but not the kind from being too cold. It’s the type that comes from a new intimacy with Truth.

Truth came to my full attention this evening.

Truth came to replace its previous stand-in: distant, shallow stories.

Truth revealed itself through expressed bravery and exposure.

It’s easy to be nonchalantly composed when theory runs my life.

“Those problems are ‘over there…’ Is this even really happening? Is it that big of a deal?”

But then I find out and realize that YES. It is. These problems are simmering in people’s lives who I see weekly, more than my own family and dogs. And now, it’s boiled over for me to see…for me to feel.

When people share their vulnerability it allows us to step up and meet them—to fill that once-distant space between us.

There becomes a new layer of intimacy to explore: humanity.

For now, I’m still processing, digesting, and frozen.

…but what’s gonna happen when I melt?

I’m always shocked when…

…I see one of my friends light up a cigarette.

Especially when I experience them as strong, health-conscious women.

Maybe they reserve the cancer sticks (gag, too cheesey?) for alcohol-infused social gatherings…or maybe not.

Why?

Why do you smoke cigarettes?

Why do you ingest those levels of nasty ass chemicals when you also understand the traumas that Mother Earth goes through and connect that to the female body? Is this a gnarly blind spot for your very own ecofeminist outlook?

Do you realize that you are choosing the unfortunate fate for your very own fleshy space-traveling vehicle?

😦

Those conversations that leave you feeling…

elevated and better than before…they remind you of the magic that can weave thru reality.

They bring out your most optimistic, excited, highest state.

They make you feel buzzing, with ripples of shivers migrating across skin. Kundalini? Are you hanging out too?

Thank you.

Let’s keep on cultivating these interactions, and prune out of the rest to save energy for what really matters.

Where to escape in a city:

“It’s not a city, it’s the suburbs,” says my narrow-minded, ignorant family member.

When I️ can only make out the Big Dipper and Orion at night, when the streetlights keeping me up at night are brighter than the sun peaking over the morning horizon, when the buzz of traffic is constantly evident…I’m in a city.

It’s not your fault though…you don’t know what it’s like to live in a rustic cabin with no WiFi or to have to gather your own firewood and start a fire every night. You don’t know what the world looks like behind your 65-inch TV or your 4-inch iPhone and you certainly don’t know that “leisure” and “outdoors” can go together without an agenda.

The only other human at this artificial lake is a boy. Someone dropped him off just after I️ arrived so that he could fish. I️ think he is catching some, but I’m also hearing a handful jump out of the water in front of me.

Nature is refreshing, like a glass of ice-cold water for a red-hot angry mind.

Some people use the term “Nature Deficit Disorder” to unofficially describe the impacts of a lack of slow-paced quality outdoor time.

Irritability, fear, apathy, confusion, and anxiety make their way into my “normalness” when I️ skip the parks and forest hikes for mindless modern-day entertainment. It clouds around me like a swarm of stickiness. I️ think that it’s normal…but it’s not. At least, it shouldn’t be.

Sometimes it just takes a stop by the park to shift me back into a more satisfying way of being alive: patience, relaxation, and imagination.

Luckily I️ am just visiting this massive “suburb.” For getting an afternoon date with myself at the park here is like getting to eat a carrot or two after fasting all morning. I️ am malnourished being here, but luckily I️ know what I️ need to feel satiated.

Yoga Addresses Your Whole Being

“Often it’s a stagnation in the body that can begin to create a stagnation emotionally and mentally. Or it starts in the mind and makes its way into the physical. The great part of yoga is that we are addressing our whole being…all of our different bodies: physically, emotional, energetic, mental”

— Kia Miller —

Thank you, Men

Thank you to all the Men out there:

Who have been the best of friends, brothers, and lovers.

Who make an exciting adventure buddy, a tender and receptive listener, a mentor into the DnD world.

Who silently serve those they love or have patiently showed me how to make the most beautiful dreamcatchers (plus so much more, yes you).

Some who I spoke to this morning, others in the past week, or month, or year. Some who I met once and never again. Some who drift to and fro like waves up a beach.

Thank you for showing up and providing the world with your gifts.

Checkpoint

Post meditation reflection:

When I work on slowing down in one facet of my life, the rest of my life slows down. When I speed up in another part of my life, the rest of my life picks up speed.

“Slowing down” comes in different ways for each person. For me, it’s my twice-a-day meditations, laying in my bedroom alone without doing anything, sitting outside listening to the natural ambience, or taking a short pause (after anything, really) before I continue to the next task. The more I practice slowing down, the more I observe it trickles into other parts of my life. How lovely.

Lately I’ve been actively pursuing creative endeavors: blogging more frequently, binge reading books, coloring mandalas, and creating music mixes. The last one requires me to spend long amounts of time on computer. When I am done for the day, I find myself buzzing. Hard. Thoughts are going 3836190 times faster than usual. I have songs stuck in my head into the night and thoughts repeating themselves that usually wouldn’t get repeated.

It’s harder to “come down” from this elevated, excited state. This contrasts obviously. For my baseline has been “calmness” for the last few months. Yet, I haven’t really been testing myself.

Could you imagine how tiring it would be to be riding a roller coaster all day long? But then again, it would be boring to never hop on (if you wanted to).

So I guess this is a checkpoint. A time to reflect on balance in my life.

The Universe Creates Through Me (And You)

What if…

None of my ideas are actually mine?

What if we all are able to receive the same ideas and some just hear it first? Or hear it more clearly?

Then, what if I choose not to act upon the idea? Poor idea! It just wants to be created somehow. If not me, then someone else will…

But I think that some people are better are creating certain ideas. The idea came to a person first, one who had the best chance of manifesting it. If that person ignores it, then the idea loses a little bit of its clarity and charm.

So if I hear an idea first and think “Wow! How amazing!” but then just sit on it… Well, the idea has to be created somehow. It goes to the next possible creator. That person may not be the best medium to bring the idea into the world.

How do I  know when an idea is worth it?

It makes me excited. Ambitious. My heart starts to flutter and expand.

explosion

The size an idea shouldn’t really matter…because what if the idea is just testing you out?

“Hmmm..what do you think about this, lil’ human?” wonders the idea, while waiting for a response of curiosity and receptivity before giving you more.

Listen to your ideas.

Act on them. If it’s stirring something up, create. 

Meditating is like…

…opening the windows in a stuffy room.

…hitting a “Reset” button during the day.

…talking to a close friend or a therapist and blowing off some steam.

…lighting a deliciously smelling candle in a dark room.

…cuddling in bed after a long day.

…post-rain sunshine.

…finishing a sudoku puzzle.

rocks

Yet, it transcends all these things…